DASUN SHINE

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Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

THE TIME TRAVELING MINI-VAN

Posted by Dasun Allah on June 11, 2010


Looking through some photo files, I came across a picture my Sun had taken. The image caught my eye and deeply intrigued me. I looked at it, and to me it looked like the minivan in the picture was in warp speed like on Star Trek. Plus, I like the red, yellow and green lights in the picture. But as I looked at it, it began to appear to me as if the minivan was time traveling. It was also apropos, given one of my prevailing themes of the veneration of oriental thought, that the van is eastward bound.

As I thought of this time traveling minivan, the opening line of the poem occurred to me. Then by association, the next thought was of the soccer mom. From there I was phonetically led to “sock a mom,” And the floodgates were opened.

The minivan took me back to bear witness to time. To testify and to lay bare these ugly truths…

TIME TRAVELING MINIVAN

I travel a minivan through time
To days when I knew not of soccer moms
Only dads who would sock a mom and
rupture her eye sockets
Punch her in the ear, so it would leave no marks
Or make like a bar-fight
And break a chair over her back by starlight
Then wake up next morning
Roll over
Apologize and
ask for peace
and a piece
And she so in love would give it all
but ask him to be gentle because
the previous night
has left her just a tad bit sore
I can see them in the rearview mirror
Traveling a minivan through time…

(to be continued…)

Posted in Essay, Life, Love, poetry, prosetics, Relatiosnhips, Sex, spoken word, Thoughts, Writing, Writing Life | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

ODE TO ESCAPING THE RHYME

Posted by Dasun Allah on August 2, 2009

I am trying, but I can’t escape the rhyme.

When I am writing the spoken word pieces the concepts come to me in rhyme and when I lose the rhyme I sometimes lose my momentum and it becomes awkward. The rhythm is lost, and even when I start without rhyme it eventually asserts itself.

My sister says that I shouldn’t fight it, that I am good at writing in the rhyme and should not fight my strengths… The path of least resistance. But should I conquer this?

I have had this discussion about escaping the rhyme since at least 2002, and I still find that as I move away from rhyme, I move away from potency of message and lose the strength of the stream of thought. The signal comes in words that rhyme, that’s how I hear it. And when I break from the rhyme, I am not writing what I am being told. I am doing something else and it isn’t as pure.

Why can’t I escape the rhyme?

Someone told me to write my thoughts as an essay and then build the piece from that. I will try that, but my method has been more organic, the rhymes come to me, the words flow and I stop writing when I stop hearing them and then I go back and dot i’s and cross t’s. Most of best work came to me straight and then I polished it. That’s why I have it hard working from outlines in my creative work.

In journalism, I can piece it together, but literary art flows, it is difficult for me to assemble.

Why can’t I escape?

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